BOOM - Mom's Gonna Burst

Why?

2010-05-04T17:38:00.000-07:00

I've lost weight before.....a couple of times anyway. I actually lost 70 lbs in 2004 and have kept it off with the exception of 10 lbs.

This time I want it to be different. I want to see the weight loss to the end. To do that, I truly believe I have to understand why.

Why did this happen to me? Why did I allow this to become a way of life? What is in my family of origin that has created such physical dysfunction in my life?

The last few weeks I've been reaching deep and twisting myself into a pretzel as I ponder the stuff that needs to be fixed.

In the meantime, I concentrate on getting enough water....I'm up to 80 oz a day. I also concentrate on moving more.....taking every opportunity I can find and making it a priority to exercise.

Have I lost anything? Not a clue, my bathroom flooded and my scale stopped working. I'll get another one, but for right now, it's not about the losing as much as it's about healing the little girl who grew to be this fat woman.

Exercising

2010-04-08T00:23:00.000-07:00

I ran yesterday. First time since before I broke my back in 2006. Ok, it was about two blocks, but I ran people!

I then did forty minutes of weights in my complex gym.

Then, I died. Needed a nap and felt sick.

Today, I ate like a crazy woman including candy. Ug. There has got to be middle ground somewhere and I'm certainly open to suggestions.

Let's Begin

2010-03-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I've turned myself inside out trying to figure out why I'm fat. I could blame genes and my mother for never teaching me good habits. Or....I could blame myself and get depressed.

Instead I think that I'll learn to be mindful. To focus on the moment and try to understand why I feel what I feel before I stick anything in my mouth.

I started Weight Watchers today. I actually started paying for it two months ago, but only went to one meeting and then I allowed all the stresses of life to bulldoze over me. Just an excuse I know.

Beginning again. Yes, indeed.

Oh Brother!

2010-03-17T22:28:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that when I begin to focus on my health, I immediately start eating like I'm starving on a deserted island.

I truly believe that it triggers something in me. Something that is trying to protect me.

I. Hate. It.

I wear my fat like an insulated coat that keeps me safe.

Must ponder that.

Starting Again

2010-03-13T14:56:00.001-08:00

I read this a couple of days ago.....

"You're never too old to begin again".

I like that saying....alot.

This was going to be the year that I really got my health under control. I spent most of February sick and now here it is...March already.

I now have a job and our lives are beginning to have a pattern. I realize that weight loss and good health needs to happen regardless of the pattern or not pattern of life. But for me, I need to have a pattern to develop good habits.

So here I am again. I haven't gained any "new weight", but I have lost any nor have I been working at it.

I'm excited. I want to make this happen. Here's to not being too old!

Oh, and welcome to the new blog look.

Jillian came home with me.

2010-01-09T23:02:00.000-08:00

I went to K-mart tonight. As I was wandering toward the registers, there it was. Jillian Michaels and her 30 Day Sred. I've heard so many things about this exercise CD. Part of me is downright scared.

And there she has been sitting all evening...smirking at me. Almost as if she is saying...Be afraid, be very afraid.

Holidays Come and Gone

2010-01-05T22:50:00.001-08:00

Well, I gained a pound over the holidays. I wasn't even trying to lose so I'm rather surprised the damage wasn't greater. I'm looking forward to getting back on track.

Let's Do It Together!

2009-12-12T18:44:00.000-08:00

I'm joining this ladies in their effort, mostly because I need all the support I can get.....

They have a prompt this week....

What is your week one goal (s)... and why are you joining in?

Well I'm on week whatever, but I still have a goal and I should share why I'm joining.

Goal: I've lost site of my water consumption so I need to concentrate on that. My goal this week is to drink 100 oz every day. I was up to that before and doing it without a problem. When I got sick, the "habit" went away. I need to get that back.

Why: I'm joining because I already follow SupahMommy and she is a hoot. I'm on board for anything that she gets involved with and besides, I need all the support I can get.

If you'd like more support, won't you join us. I'm sure it's going to be fun as we struggle together.

Day 25 - 12/10/09

2009-12-10T23:07:00.000-08:00

Ok, whose idea was it to start this during the holidays. I'm having a hard time staying focused. I don't want to be obsessive, but I want to be healthy.

I'm trying to cook healthier. Really that is the only change I've been able to hold to at this point. I'm blaming the holidays. Ahem.

Still, I got on the scale tonight for the first time since I started. Imagine my surprise when I'd had a loss of six pounds in four weeks. While I probably could have lost more if I'd "concentrated", I am pleased because I didn't starve myself or go insane with the exercise.

I want to get there. I have a friend who is there but it is so natural to her. That's what I want, but for tonight, I celebrate six pounds gone.

Day 6 - 11/21/09

2009-11-21T21:46:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I was on tract with my exercise and not with my eating. Today, I'm on tract with my eating and my exercise is off. I am tired today and I'm resting, mostly because I just want to. I suppose I should have a "plan". I don't. I just want to change my lifestyle.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's weigh in and measuring.

Day 4 - 11/19/09

2009-11-20T16:08:00.000-08:00

We're going to call this day a bust. While I did get my exercise in, I ate like a stressed out insane woman. We're talking donuts, candy bar, crap.

It was so bad that I couldn't even bring myself to post last night. Nuff said. Forging ahead.

Day 3 - 11/18/09

2009-11-18T19:56:00.000-08:00

Exercise Done Today:
Walked 30 minutes, .73 miles, burned 149 calories

Calorie Count Today (1200-1550):
662 calories over.

Fat Grams Today (32-56 g):
A whopping 80 grams.

Water Intake Today: 8 glasses by bedtime

I think I’m going backwards. I’m trying to understand what I do wrong so I can start to do right. Problem is, I don’t think I’m making any progress. Time to get serious. Really serious. I think I am becoming quite aware of why I am the way I am.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/

Day 2 - 11/17/09

2009-11-17T19:02:00.000-08:00

Exercise Done Today:
Walked 45 minutes, 2.5 miles, burned 437 calories

Calorie Count Today:
384 calories over, OVER. I took my daughter out to breakfast before her M.D. appointment. When I was done, I calculated my calories. Hello? I ate a whole day’s worth in one meal. What a wake up call.

Fat Grams Today (32-56 g):
A whopping 73 grams. Less than yesterday, still too much. I need to learn more about this stuff.

Water Intake Today:
8 glasses by bedtime, I completely forgot to start drinking until I was making dinner.

This is such a learning thing. My daughter said that as long as I keep going forward, the weight is going to come off. She said that I need to give myself a learning curve. I like her thoughts.

It bothers me that I exercised enough to burn up so many calories, but I ate enough to gain more than a pound. I need to plan more.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/

Day 1 - 11/16/09

2009-11-16T19:31:00.000-08:00

Exercise Done Today:
Walked 65 minutes, 2.55 miles, burned 366 calories, I am so sore.

Calorie Count Today:
42 calories over, the report told me that eating too many calories can lead to weight gain. Gee, ya think Sherlock! I didn't plan my day appropriately and this morning I ate McDonald's for breakfast. I confess I forgot that I was planning to start today.

Fat Grams Today (32-56 g):
A whopping 79 grams. More evidence that I ate McDonald's. Ug.

Water Intake Today:
10 glasses by bedtime, I should be appropriately up all night visiting the throne.

www.sparkpeople.com

Oh Mom!

2009-11-15T20:54:00.000-08:00

FooFoo: You lose the weight and then we can share clothes.

Me: You like my clothes? You were making fun of me last week about my clothes.

FooFoo: You have some cute things. Mostly dressy. I'll have to take you to buy some jeans and casual stuff because what you wear is ugly.

How I'm Gonna Do This

2009-11-14T23:58:00.000-08:00

I need a lot of help when I lose weight. Mostly because I didn't get good training as a child. I found a really great, FREE site that I think makes this doable and motivating.

Spark_People

For once I'm really excited about actually starting one of these programs. We'll see how it goes.

A special thank you to Cat at The_Next_Right_Thing . She has some great ideas and resouces for weight loss and getting healthy in general. I found the link to Spark People on her blog. Go take a look.

The Beginning

2009-11-12T19:59:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I was helping Mighty Max and Super Sam with their math homework. We started chatting about blogs. I made mention that I'd like to start a blog about losing weight. They both laughed. I asked them what we should call it.

Their answer.....

BOOM - Mom's Gonna Burst

Wow, if that wasn't a wake up call, I don't know what would be. Honestly, I'm not sure what it's gonna be about. I know I'll share where I'm at and where I'm going. I'll share what I try and what doesn't work. And if you've followed any of my other blogs, you'll know that I'm gonna share the ugly. Come along. Maybe we'll learn something together.